Choosing Love

I have the privilege to witness amazing transformations in people I work with every day and sometimes, as it happened today, I am reminded of how simple, yet magical, the catalysts for these transformations can be. Today I had coffee with one of my coaching clients, who came along with her three and a half year old daughter. I was in awe at the amazing connection between the two of them as I saw my client’s whole expression transform when she spoke to or merely looked at the little one. As my client is going through a big change in her life, her daughter unwittingly provides perhaps the most valuable support her mother could ever wish for. What does she do exactly? She herself summed it up beautifully when, at one point, her mother asked: “What are you feeling?” “I feel my heart filled with love” the little one replied “For whom?” the mother asked “For you, mommy”.  “I love you too, honey. I love you so much” the mother concluded, tears in her eyes. I had tears in my eyes too and I too felt my heart filled with love. This is a mother who wholeheartedly gives love to her child, and joyously receives love back. But what happens when this exchange is not that healthy? What happens when love isn’t shared or returned? What happens when people – parents, lovers, friends – make terrible mistakes against those whom they love? Or when they simply don’t know how to show love, because nobody has ever taught them? Later in the day I had a talk with someone very close to me about the sadness and pain of losing love, being denied love, being rejected, hurt, humiliated by someone you love. We talked about what options the “victim” has in these situations. What options does a rejected child have when her parents are unable to give her the emotional nourishment she needs? What options does another have when he is abused? What kind of...

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Three Great Lessons Children Teach Businesspeople

Feb 07, 11 Three Great Lessons Children Teach Businesspeople

Posted by in Thoughts/Ideas

During the years I’ve been training hundreds of people from various companies I noticed a pattern that seems emerge every time when a group of 12 adults or more are brought together to learn something new, regardless of subject. People seem to have an urge to play that they fight very hard to keep under control, because apparently it’s not “professional”, but which seems to wait for just the right opportunity to manifest itself. For example, I always give my seminar participants something to keep their hands busy while their minds are immersed in learning – an anti-stress ball or a funny pen, or, the star of the show – colored molding clay. The joy these small toys create and the creativity that is unleashed when given the opportunity to mold bear no connection with the status of the participants. People of all ages and professions seem to enjoy playing just the same – that is A LOT! I have proof of this in the form of two gorgeous cherries molded out of clay by a CFO, which sit proudly on my desk, alongside a cute green cappuccino cup created by a 20 something IT whizz. So what if people like to play with molding clay? What’s the point in writing about this? – You might wonder just about now. Actually, the point is that this “hunger for play” and the extraordinary creativity people exhibit when given the chance might actually be harnessed for more “serious” and “business like” purposes. This whole thing got me thinking about all those childhood joys that we seem to lose somewhere on the way to becoming grown-ups and that we later in life reject as “not befitting an adult”. Maybe there is a reason why we behave a certain way when we are small and maybe, just maybe, it’s wrong to leave all that behind when we grow up. Is it possible that holding on to some of that “childish” stuff might actually have tangible benefits? Learning from...

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